Chapter 7 - IF SHE WAKES UP
Roman signed forms with a hand that would not stop shaking.
Twenty-six weeks.
Too early.
The doctors stabilized Amelia temporarily, but the bleeding had become unpredictable.
If it worsened, they would have to deliver the baby.
Roman sat outside her room because Amelia had never formally changed the instructions limiting his access.
Evelyn arrived.
She found him staring at the floor.
“What did the doctor say?”
He explained.
Evelyn sat beside him.
After a long silence, Roman whispered, “I did this.”
“No.”
“She was kidnapped because of my world.”
“That part is true.”
“She was under stress because of me.”
“Also true.”
“I chose Vanessa.”
“Yes.”
Roman looked at her.
“You’re terrible at comforting people.”
“I’m not comforting you.”
Evelyn took his hand.
“I’m reminding you that guilt and responsibility aren’t identical.”
Roman looked through the glass.
Amelia lay sleeping.
“If she wakes up and tells me to disappear, I will.”
Evelyn studied him.
“You mean that?”
“Yes.”
“What about the baby?”
“I’ll be whatever kind of father Amelia allows me to be.”
Evelyn squeezed his hand.
“That’s the first intelligent thing I’ve heard you say since 2009.”
At 3:12 a.m., Amelia woke.
The first person she saw was Evelyn.
“The baby?”
“Still inside you.”
Amelia exhaled.
Then she noticed Roman through the glass.
He was asleep in a plastic chair.
His head rested against the wall.
“Has he been there the whole time?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t he come in?”
“You didn’t invite him.”
Amelia stared.
Evelyn smiled faintly.
“Apparently therapy works miracles.”
Amelia rolled her eyes.
Then winced.
“Don’t make me laugh.”
“Your husband has been sleeping in parking lots. I’m getting entertainment somewhere.”
Amelia looked at Roman again.
“Tell him he can come in.”
Roman woke when Evelyn touched his shoulder.
“She wants you.”
He stood immediately.
Inside, he approached the bed slowly.
Amelia looked exhausted.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Neither knew what came next.
Finally Amelia said, “Gabriel?”
“In custody.”
“You didn’t kill him?”
“No.”
“Wanted to?”
“Very much.”
That earned the faintest smile.
Roman sat.
“The doctors say they may have to keep you here for a while.”
“I know.”
“I can arrange—”
He stopped himself.
Amelia noticed.
“What?”
“I was going to start controlling everything.”
“Yes.”
“I’m practicing.”
“That must be painful.”
“Excruciating.”
She laughed softly.
Then her expression became serious.
“If she comes early…”
Roman’s face tightened.
“She’ll fight.”
“You don’t know that.”
“No.”
He moved his chair closer.
“But I know her mother.”
Amelia looked away before he could see tears.
For the next five weeks, the hospital became their strange neutral territory.
Roman visited every day.
Sometimes Amelia let him stay.
Sometimes she asked him to leave.
He always did.
They talked about things they had avoided for years.
Anthony.
Vanessa.
Roman’s father.
Amelia’s fear of disappearing inside Roman’s life.
Their marriage.
One afternoon, Amelia asked, “Why did you marry me?”
Roman frowned.
“Because I loved you.”
“That’s the simple answer.”
“It’s the true one.”
“Why me?”
Roman thought.
“Because you never cared who I was supposed to be.”
She waited.
“The first night we met, everyone in that restaurant knew my name. You didn’t.”
“I thought you sold insurance.”
“You spent forty minutes complaining about your landlord.”
“He deserved it.”
“He did.”
Roman smiled.
“Then you stole my dessert.”
“You said you didn’t want it.”
“I was being polite.”
“That was your mistake.”
They both laughed.
The laughter faded slowly.
Roman looked at her.
“I miss us.”
Amelia’s expression softened.
“So do I.”
He did not reach for her.
That mattered.
At thirty-one weeks, Vanessa requested to see Amelia.
Roman said the decision was hers.
Amelia agreed.
Vanessa entered the hospital room looking smaller than Amelia remembered.
No designer dress.
No perfect makeup.
Just jeans, a sweater, and shame.
“I’m leaving Maryland,” Vanessa said.
Amelia waited.
“I accepted a job in Oregon.”
“Good.”
Vanessa swallowed.
“I need to tell you something before I go.”
Roman, standing near the window, stiffened.
Vanessa looked at him.
“My father never asked Roman to love me.”
Roman said nothing.
“I knew that. But whenever Roman chose me, I felt like my father was still alive.”
Her eyes filled.
“And then you came along.”
She looked at Amelia.
“You had the part of him I could never have.”
“His love?”
“No.”
Vanessa shook her head.
“His future.”
That answer surprised Amelia.
“I hated you for it.”
Vanessa wiped her cheek.
“I helped Gabriel create the first stage of the kidnapping because I wanted Roman to prove I still mattered.”
Roman’s expression hardened.
Vanessa continued quickly.
“I didn’t know Gabriel intended to take Amelia too. I swear.”
“You still created the door he walked through,” Amelia said.
“Yes.”
Vanessa did not defend herself.
“I’m sorry.”
Amelia looked at her for a long time.
“I hope someday I forgive you.”
Vanessa nodded.
“But that day isn’t today.”
“I understand.”
She left.
Roman watched her go without following.
Amelia noticed.
That night, shortly after two, Amelia woke with a strange pressure in her abdomen.
Then another.
She pressed the call button.
A nurse entered.
The monitor changed.
Amelia knew before anyone spoke.
“Roman.”
The nurse reached for the phone.
“He’s downstairs.”
“No.”
Amelia grabbed her wrist.
“Get him now.”
Minutes later Roman ran into the room.
Amelia held out her hand.
This time, she reached first.
Roman took it.
Her water broke thirty seconds later.
The doctor rushed in.
“Thirty-one weeks and four days,” she said. “We’re having this baby tonight.”
Roman looked at Amelia.
She was terrified.
So was he.
But this time, when the doors opened and the nurses began moving her toward surgery, Roman did not have to decide whom to save.
Amelia tightened her fingers around his.
“Stay.”
May you like
Roman walked beside her.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
