Chapter 7 - THE YEAR WITHOUT HER
One year changed Hannah Reed more than the previous twelve.
Hudson Women's hired her permanently.
Six months later, Amelia promoted her to vice president of operations.
Hannah protested.
Amelia ignored her.
“You've cut missed postpartum appointments by thirty-one percent.”
“The transportation partnership did that.”
“You created the partnership.”
“My team implemented it.”
“You hired the team.”
Hannah frowned.
Amelia leaned back.
“You have a fascinating allergy to credit.”
“I'm working on it.”
“Work faster. Your new salary begins Monday.”
Hannah laughed.
Rose learned to crawl.
Then stand.
Then terrorize electrical outlets with the determination of an engineer.
Lily graduated high school and was accepted to Columbia.
She chose to stay in New York partly because she wanted to be near Rose.
Carter objected.
“You should choose the best school for you.”
“I did.”
“You're sure?”
“Dad, stop trying to manufacture sacrifice because you're guilty.”
He stared at her.
“When did you become forty?”
“When you made me learn emotional intelligence for both of us.”
Fair.
Carter had changed too.
Not dramatically.
That would have been easier.
He changed through hundreds of boring decisions nobody applauded.
He attended therapy.
He learned his parents' medical schedules.
He handled Lily's tuition paperwork.
He cooked for Douglas twice a week.
The food was terrible.
Douglas ate it anyway.
He returned to North River's administrative committees after completing the ethics process, but declined the leadership role he once would have fought to regain.
He told colleagues he wanted to focus on surgery and mentoring residents.
Brooke moved to Boston.
Hannah heard through hospital circles that she'd joined a nonprofit communications firm.
They never spoke.
Until Rose's first birthday.
The party was held in Rebecca and Douglas's backyard.
Nothing extravagant.
Balloons.
Cake.
A dozen family friends.
Rose wore a yellow dress and spent most of the afternoon trying to eat wrapping paper.
Carter arrived carrying one gift.
Hannah raised an eyebrow.
“One?”
“I was told children don't need seventeen presents.”
“Who told you?”
“Your daughter.”
Hannah looked toward Lily.
“Our daughter,” she corrected without thinking.
Carter froze.
Hannah realized what she'd said.
Neither addressed it.
Then a woman approached Carter.
Tall.
Dark-haired.
Beautiful.
She touched his arm.
Hannah's stomach did something profoundly irritating.
Carter smiled at the woman.
Hannah looked away.
Why did she care?
They were divorced.
He was free.
She was free.
This was healthy.
Mature.
Completely—
“Who is that?”
Lily had appeared beside her.
“I have no idea.”
“You're glaring.”
“I am not.”
“You're holding that cupcake like it owes you money.”
Hannah loosened her fingers.
“I don't care who your father dates.”
“Sure.”
“I don't.”
“Want me to find out?”
“No.”
Lily disappeared.
“Lily!”
Too late.
Thirty seconds later she returned.
“Dr. Rachel Monroe. Pediatric anesthesiologist. Divorced. Thirty-nine. No children. Likes hiking.”
Hannah stared.
“How could you possibly learn that in thirty seconds?”
“I've been raised by you.”
“That is deeply concerning.”
Lily grinned.
Then Carter approached.
Rachel had gone.
“Everything okay?”
“Perfect.”
He looked at the crushed cupcake.
“Did it insult you?”
Hannah threw it into the trash.
“Who's Rachel?”
The question escaped.
Carter blinked.
Then something dangerously close to amusement appeared.
“Colleague.”
“Just a colleague?”
“Hannah Reed.”
“Don't.”
His smile widened.
“Are you jealous?”
“No.”
“Interesting.”
“What?”
“I didn't say you looked jealous.”
“You implied it.”
“I asked.”
“Carter.”
He laughed.
She hated that she loved the sound.
Then Rose yelled from across the yard.
“Da!”
Everyone froze.
Carter turned.
Rose stood beside Rebecca, pointing directly at him.
“Da!”
His entire face changed.
He crossed the lawn so quickly he nearly knocked over a chair.
Hannah watched him lift Rose.
The baby grabbed his cheeks.
“Da-da-da-da.”
Carter kissed her forehead.
When he looked back at Hannah, his eyes were wet.
That stupid jealousy vanished.
Something more frightening replaced it.
Tenderness.
Later, after everyone left, Hannah found Carter washing dishes in his parents' kitchen.
“You don't have to do that.”
“I know.”
She leaned against the counter.
“Rachel really isn't your girlfriend?”
He looked at her.
“No.”
“Oh.”
“She asked me out.”
Hannah's heart dropped.
“I said no.”
It rose again, which was even more annoying.
“Why?”
Carter dried his hands.
“Because I'm not ready.”
“For dating?”
“For pretending I don't still love you.”
Silence.
Hannah looked toward the backyard.
“You can't wait for me.”
“I know.”
“I might never want to try again.”
“I know.”
“I've worked too hard to become myself.”
“I know.”
She turned.
“Stop saying that.”
“What should I say?”
Hannah didn't have an answer.
Carter came closer but left space between them.
“I don't want the old marriage back.”
That surprised her.
“I hated losing you,” he continued. “But I finally understand that the marriage we had required too much of you and too little of me.”
Hannah's eyes filled.
“So if nothing happens between us, I'll accept it.”
He glanced toward Rose.
“But if one day you want coffee…”
A smile touched his mouth.
“I still owe you one.”
Then he left.
Hannah stood alone in the kitchen.
Her phone buzzed.
A message from Lily.
For someone who isn't jealous, you asked about Rachel in 47 seconds. New family record.
Hannah typed:
Go to bed.
Three dots appeared.
It's 8:14.
Hannah smiled.
Then another message arrived.
This one made the smile disappear.
May you like
It was from an unknown number.
Mrs. Sutton, you don't know me. My name is Emily Langley. I'm Brooke's sister. Brooke was in an accident tonight. Before surgery, she asked me to contact you. She says there is something about Carter you deserve to know.
