Chapter 4 - The Signature
Daniel reached St. Matthew’s fourteen minutes later.
He ran through the emergency entrance without closing his coat.
Dr. Reynolds was waiting outside the operating suite.
“Where is she?”
“In surgery.”
“And my baby?”
“They’re delivering now.”
Daniel looked through the narrow window in the operating-room door as if he could somehow see through walls.
“Why?”
“Emma’s blood pressure became dangerously high. The baby showed signs of distress.”
“Can I see her?”
“Not yet.”
Daniel leaned against the wall.
His legs felt weak.
Then he remembered.
“The separation papers.”
Dr. Reynolds shook her head.
“They don’t automatically eliminate your role as her spouse. I mentioned them because Emma was very deliberate about bringing them with her belongings. We were trying to understand her wishes.”
Daniel stared at the floor.
He had spent Christmas Eve telling himself he was doing something compassionate by visiting Rachel.
Meanwhile, his wife had signed papers preparing to leave him.
The operating-room doors opened.
A nurse hurried past carrying equipment.
Daniel stood.
Nobody stopped.
Nobody smiled.
Minutes stretched into an eternity.
Then a sound came from beyond the doors.
A baby crying.
Daniel’s entire body went still.
It was faint.
Angry.
Alive.
He covered his mouth.
A nurse emerged carrying a tiny bundle toward the neonatal unit.
“Is that my baby?”
The nurse stopped.
“You’re Emma Carter’s husband?”
Daniel nodded.
“Congratulations. You have a daughter.”
A daughter.
Daniel had imagined those words for months.
He had expected to hear them beside Emma while holding her hand.
Instead, he was standing alone beneath fluorescent hospital lights.
“Can I see her?”
“Soon.”
“Emma?”
The nurse’s smile faded.
“The surgical team is still working.”
That destroyed the brief moment of joy.
Daniel sat.
Forty minutes later, Dr. Reynolds emerged.
Her surgical cap was still on.
Daniel stood immediately.
“Emma survived the delivery.”
He closed his eyes.
“But she experienced serious complications. Her blood pressure remains unstable, and we’re also concerned about her heart.”
“Can I see her?”
“When she’s stabilized.”
“Is she going to live?”
Dr. Reynolds did not offer false reassurance.
“We’re doing everything we can.”
Daniel nodded because there was nothing else he could do.
A neonatal nurse eventually brought him to his daughter.
She was tiny.
Five pounds, one ounce.
A translucent oxygen tube rested beneath her nose.
Daniel placed his hand through the opening of the incubator.
His daughter’s fingers closed around one of his.
He broke.
“I’m sorry.”
The nurse quietly stepped away.
“I’m so sorry your daddy wasn’t where he was supposed to be.”
He remained there until someone spoke behind him.
“Daniel.”
Rachel.
He turned.
She stood several feet away holding his gloves.
For one irrational second, he hated the sight of her.
Not because Rachel had done anything wrong.
Because she represented every excuse he had made.
Rachel looked through the glass toward the baby.
“Is she okay?”
“She’s alive.”
“And Emma?”
Daniel shook his head.
“We don’t know.”
Rachel’s eyes filled.
“I’m sorry.”
Daniel looked at her.
“Why did Emma come to you?”
“I told you.”
“No. There was more.”
Rachel hesitated.
Daniel saw it.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
Rachel slowly sat down.
“Emma asked whether anything happened between us.”
Daniel’s jaw tightened.
“What did you say?”
“The truth.”
Which was?
Rachel looked directly at him.
“That you kissed me.”
Daniel closed his eyes.
It had happened six weeks earlier.
Rachel had received news that her father’s cancer was terminal. She had collapsed crying in Daniel’s office.
He had held her.
Rachel had kissed him.
And for perhaps two seconds, Daniel had kissed her back.
Then he had stepped away.
He had never told Emma.
“It meant nothing.”
Rachel’s expression hardened.
“It meant something to your wife.”
“How did she know?”
“She saw us.”
Daniel stared at her.
Rachel explained that Emma had arrived at his office that afternoon carrying dinner.
She had seen them through the partially open conference-room door.
She left before either noticed her.
“She asked me why you never told her.”
Daniel whispered, “What did you say?”
“I said I didn’t know.”
Rachel stood.
“You told yourself you were protecting Emma from something meaningless. But secrets don’t stay meaningless just because we want them to.”
Daniel looked through the nursery glass.
His daughter slept beneath warm lights.
“I betrayed her.”
Rachel did not comfort him.
“You did.”
The words hurt.
They were supposed to.
Later that afternoon, Daniel was finally allowed into Emma’s intensive-care room.
She was unconscious.
Machines surrounded her.
Her face looked smaller somehow.
Daniel sat beside her.
He did not touch her immediately.
For the first time in their marriage, he wondered whether he had the right.
Eventually, he placed his hand beside hers.
“Her name should be Hope.”
He smiled through tears.
“You always said that name was too sentimental.”
Emma did not move.
“I think sentimental is okay now.”
His voice broke.
“I kissed Rachel.”
The monitor continued its rhythm.
“I should’ve told you.”
Daniel looked at Emma’s closed eyes.
“And I’m not going to say it meant nothing, because if it hurt you, then it meant something.”
He breathed shakily.
“I kept thinking being a good husband meant paying for the house and solving problems. I didn’t understand that sometimes you needed me to sit beside you and admit I was scared too.”
He took the separation papers from his coat.
A hospital administrator had given them to him with Emma’s belongings.
Daniel placed them on the table.
“I’m not going to tear these up.”
His tears fell.
“If you wake up and still want to leave me, I’ll sign them.”
He lowered his head.
“I just need you to wake up so you can choose.”
A finger moved beneath his hand.
Daniel froze.
“Emma?”
Her finger moved again.
He called the nurse.
Doctors rushed inside.
Daniel stepped back.
Emma’s eyelids fluttered.
Then opened.
Her gaze wandered until it found him.
For a second, there was no recognition.
Then there was.
And the first emotion Daniel saw was not love.
It was fear.
Her lips moved.
He leaned closer.
“What?”
Emma whispered one word.
“Baby?”
Daniel started crying.
“She’s alive.”
Emma closed her eyes.
A tear slipped down her cheek.
“Girl?”
“Yes.”
Another tear.
Daniel smiled.
“She has your nose.”
Emma breathed slowly.
Then she looked at him again.
“Why are you here?”
The question destroyed him.
“Because you’re my wife.”
Emma stared at him.
May you like
Then, barely audible, she said:
“Not for long.”
